Understanding Hurt
by loveanimexoxo
Summary: Serena had to live her whole life knowing she killed her best friend. Her happiness grew to sorrow, and her heart turned to stone. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!
1. Flashback

SUMMARY: Serena had to live her whole life knowing she killed her best friend. Her happiness grew to sorrow, and her heart turned to stone. No one at school looked at her the same, as well, as he parents, all because of a mistake she can not take back. When the new kid at school starts talking to her, she feels like her life is getting better, but she knew that he didn't know about her past. But one thing she didn't know was that he did know about her past. Can he save her before she hurts herself anymore? And in the end, will they fall in love? Or will they slowly drift apart?

* * *

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 1: Flashback **

Serena was sitting on her bed crying.

_Raye looked at Serena closely. "I really don't think it's a good idea. I'm more stable than you."_

_"Don't be silly!" Serena said laughing hysterically._

_"Yeah Raye!" Mina said slurring her words as she leaned up against Selena laughing with her. Raye crossed her arms looking at both of them in disbelief._

_Serena cleared her throat and stood up straight acting serious. "Raye, I'm perfectly fine." Mina was holding her hand over her mouth, trying to keep from laughing._

_Raye looked at Serena for another second. "I still don't know."_

_Serena grabbed the car keys from Raye's hand. "Come on, we need to get going." _

_"Serena, come on, stop it! Just let me drive!" Raye said following Serena as she walked to her car. Mina grabbed Raye's wrist, stopping her from following Serena. "Don't worry we shall be okay." She said slurring her words and laughing._

Serena cried even harder remembering what happened during the ride.

_Serena was driving down Brisk road, going over the speed limit. Mina laughed as Serena sped up._

_"Serena, please stop it!" Raye yelled from the backseat._

_"Raye chill!" Mina said looking over her shoulder. "We're just having a little fun!"_

_Raye looked over at Serena driving as she shook her head. "You told me you were fine! That you were stable!"_

_"I am stable!" She said looking over her shoulder at Raye. _

_Raye looked out at the road and saw a car coming straight at them. "Serena!" She screamed. "Look out!" Serena turned around in her seat fast slamming on the breaks._

"No, no, no." She whispered as she hid her face in her hands.

_Serena squeezed her eyes tighter as she groaned in pain. She blinked her eyes trying to figure out where she is. "Mina?" She said her voice cracking. As she turned her head toward the direction of her best friend. When she turned to look at Mina, she saw a pool of blood slowly seeping from her unconsious body. She sucked in a deep breath in shock. Then she feels the sharp that is now running through her body._

Serena threw her hand up to cover her mouth as she felt that familiar twist in her stomach. She leans over the side of her bed and puked in the trash can.

_A paramedic knelt down on the ground looking through the smashed glass window on the drivers side. He saw girl laying in the drivers seat. "Miss? Can you hear me?"_

_Serena looked away from Mina and to the paramedic talking to her. The paramedic looked over at the girl laying in the passengers seat. Noticing the blood surrounding he immediately knew that she wasn't going to make it. He looked away from the girl in the passenger seat and to the girl in the drivers seat who is looking at him with watery eyes. He shakes his head 'no' already knowing the girls question. __Serena closed her eyes then looked up at the ceiling of the car._

_Raye groaned in pain as she gained consiousness. The paramedic crawled over to the back of the car. He cleans the rest of the broken glass out of the window so he can see. Raye groaned again as she felt more pain. _

_"Can you hear me?" He asked as he grabbed for her hand. She doesn't say anything as she kept her eyes shut. "I need you to squeeze my hand if you can hear me!" He said waiting for her to respond but she doesn't. __"Come on! You need to stay with me!" He said as he saw her breathing grow slower but she still didn't respond. _

_"What's your name sweetheart? You need to stay awake! Stay with me!" _

_"It's Raye." Serena whispered._

_"Raye! Stay with me!" He yelled louder, trying to keep her from going into unconsiouness. Raye squeezed his hand lightly._

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO CONTINUE!**


	2. Just Another Day

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 2: Just Another Day**

Serena grabbed her bag as she headed downstairs. "Morning sis." Seiya smiled. "I made you breakfast."

"Uh, no thanks." She said and walked out the door. Seiya sighed.

* * *

Serena was grabbing her books out of her locker as she felt people stare at her in disgust. She slammed her locker shut as the bell rang. "Just another day." She mumbled to herself. As she walked into class and took her seat and getting the homework out from last night, she wished everything had happened differently that night.

She noticed that Raye had walked into the classroom and glanced up at her hoping for some kind of contact. Raye looked at Serena then looked away quickly still affected by what happened that night. Serena let out a heavy sigh and continued to work on her classwork.

After class, Serena walked out into the courtyard and pulled out her diary:

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was just another day. Raye still doesn't want anything to do with me. More and more people are finding out about what happened. Times are getting harder for me and I'm becoming more and more scared. Seiya is trying to help but its hard to let him in. I don't know what to do anymore._

_

* * *

_The next day, Serena made herself a bowl of cereal, and walked over to the TV and turned on the news.

_"It's been one week since the terrible accident that killed, 16 year old Mina Aino."_

"Great they're still talking about it." She said to herself.

_"Here's a rerun of the broadcast the day of the accident."_

_"This just in, young, blonde, female found dead on the scene of the car accident on Brisk road, off of the highway. Two other teenage girls are in critical condition. The young driver is named Serena Tsukino, age 17. Raye Hino, 17, in the backseat of the car. And Mina Aino, the passenger found dead, only 16."_

Serena started crying as she heard about Mina. Seiya walked in and saw Serena crying. "Come on sis, it wasn't your fault."

That only made her cry harder. "No Seiya! It was my fault!"

"Things happen Serena, you can't sit here and beat yourself up over it."

Serena tried to stay calm but couldn't. "No! Mina died because of me!" She yelled as she stood up. "Why wasn't it me that died? Why her? If she went through all that pain then I deseve to go through as much.." She paused. "Or maybe even more."

"Don't get any ideas," Seiya warned. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Serena hadn't stopped crying the whole and she cried even more. "Why would you care?" She looked at Seiya for a second before storming off to her room.


	3. The New Kid

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 3: The New Kid**

The next day, as Serena gets her books out of her locker she noticed a boy she's never seen before a few lockers down. She closed her locker and walked to her first period, English. Darien turned and watched as she walked by him.

As Serena walked to her seat, she spotted Raye talking to a group of people. She let out a sigh, ready to take her chance. As Raye was laughing with her friends she noticed someone walking towards them. When she realized it was Serena her smile instantly fades. Serena looked away from Raye's glare and closed the gap between them still making sure they were a ways apart.

Raye stood there with her arms crossed. "What do you want?" She asked starting to tear up just by looking at Serena remembering what had happened that night.

Serena looked at the tears and felt the guilt wash over her all over again. She let out another sigh. "Raye...I'm sorry." She said looking down. "Sorry?" She asked surprised. "What makes you think that 'sorry' is going to make up for everything you did?" Her voice raised as she said this.

"Seiya told me it wasn't my fault!" Serena blurted out trying to defend herself.

Raye laughed without humor. "And you believed that?" Serena looked away for a second not wanting to answer. "You don't know how badly I wanna take back what I did!" She yelled back at her. "But that's the thing..." Raye paused as she looked away and a tear rolled down her cheek. "You will never be able to take back what you did." She shook her head slowly as a few more tears fell.

More tears started to form as Serena looked at the people beside them, who were staring. "Don't say I tried." She whispered through her tears. Raye looked at Serena with a cold, hard look one last time before turning away and ignoring just like any other day.

Serena wiped her tears before they stained her cheeks and turned around to head to her desk. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the boy from the hallway watching her. She felt her face turn red, wondering if he saw the fight. Darien looked at her for another second before walking to his desk. She let out a long breath and sat down at her desk and pulled out her work from her bag.

Not being able to concentrate on her work, Serena pulled out her diary starting a new entry.

_Dear Diary,_

_I tried my hardest today. I tried to talk to Raye. She didn't want anything to do with me._

She scribbled fast, not wanting the teacher to take away her diary, the only thing she can rely on to bring out her pain.

_I still love Raye as my own sister, and I always will. I just wish sometimes..that she felt the same. That we were still friends._

She closed her diary and quickly hid it under her desk before getting back to work. Darien was watching her closely as she did this. She felt someone staring at her and looked around the room and found locker boy looking at her. She looked away from him quickly, confused as to why he keeps looking at her. He slowly stood up from his desk.

Serena looked over at Raye, who is silently crying with her head laying on the desk. _What have I done? _She asked herself as she felt a lump rise in her throat. She looked back down at her work as tears flow down her cheeks. Darien sat next to her. "Um...hey." He said with a slight smile on his face.

She looked up slowly from her class work to the boy talking to her. "..What?" She asked her voice cracking. "Come to spy on me some more?" She asked looking back down at her work.

He laughed quietly. "Sure, I guess you can say that. But what I wanted to know," He said reaching under her desk. "Is what this is." He said as her brought up her diary.

She quickly grabbed it from him. "Its personal!" She said a little too loudly, people started looking.

"No need to freak out on me!" He said holding up his hands. "All I wanted to know is what it was, not whats inside." Then the bell rang.

She shoved her diary far into her bag then stood up, hoisting her bag up onto her shoulder and walked out of the room. Darien just sat there watching her walk away from him without another word.

* * *

After school, Serena walked out to empty court yard and sat down on the bench pulling out her diary. She flipped through the pages until she found the one she was looking for.

She gently lifts up the picture of her and Mina, just days before the accident. "Hey, Min." She whispered as tears formed in her eyes. "You know I didn't mean for any of this to happen, right?" She asked keeping her voice low, low enough for only her to hear. She ran her fingers over the smiling, blonde haired best friend she missed so much. "I owe you. Big time."


	4. Letting Someone In

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 4: Letting Someone In**

Serena walked up her driveway to get to her front door thinking about her day at school. When she reached the door she opened it walking inside straight to TV flipping it on.

Seiya heard her come in and walked out his room and into the living room where Serena is. "Hey Ser, how was school today?" She ignored him and continued to watch TV.

He figured that she didn't hear him and repeated his question. "Hey Ser, how was school today?" But she ignored him again.

"Serena Tsukino! Answer my question!" He yelled getting upset.

"Seiya!" She said turning around fast. "Just shut the hell up!" His eyes widened surprised. "You know, you really have changed. Your not my loving sister you used to be." She looked at him with a hard expression. "I grew up, Seiya. That's all." Then she turned and walked away.

"Serena! You get back here right now!" He yelled. She ignored him as she opened the front door and took off running.

* * *

Serena was crying as she sat down next to the pond in the park. Darien was jogging through the park until he heard someone crying. She picked up a rock and threw it into the water as she whispered, "I messed it up. Seiya will never forgive me."

Darien looked over to the pond and saw Serena sitting there. He walked over and took a seat next to her. She looked up when she heard someone sitting next to her then looked away. "Still following me, I see."

He laughed and smiled a bit. "No. I only do that when we're in school." He said, trying to make her laugh. But she only laughed without humor. "Yeah, sure. Look just leave me alone, okay?"

"What's wrong?" He asked, ignoring what she just said.

She wiped the tears that were running down her cheek. "Nothing." She stood up and started walking.

"Wait! Why don't you let me walk you home?"

"No, I'm fine." She said as she continued to walk.

"No, you're not fine. Just let me walk you home."

* * *

She looked down at her feet as her and Darien walked to her house.

He looked at her. "So, uh, why were you crying back at the pond?

She looked away from him not wanting to answer, but does anyway. "I, uh...got into a fight with my brother that's all." She said, her voice cracking.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter. But this is my house, so um thanks I guess." She turned and walked up to her door. He followed her up the steps. She heard him following her so she turned around. "Uh, you can leave now."

"What? Not going to invite me in?"

"I don't even know you."

* * *

Serena was standing at her locker getting her books. Darien leaned up against the locker next to Serena's. She slammed her locker shut in frustration. "You know this stalking thing is getting old."

He laughed. "Yeah, I-"

Andrew walked up to him. "Hey Darien, do you have the homework, from Math?"

"Uh, no, I don't." Serena looked over at Andrew.

"That's what I thought." Andrew looked over at Serena and gave her a digusted look before walking away. Serena knew right away why Andrew gave her that look.

"What was that all about?" He asked, referring to Andrew.

"Oh, uh nothing. Look I have to get to class." She turned and walked to her class.

* * *

After class, Serena walked out into the courtyard and pulled out her diary turning to a page and writes...

_Dear Diary,_

_I had a fight with Seiya last night, which is usual, but this was different. It wasn't one of our normal little fights. Where we make up like nothing happened afterwards. He said I changed, and I said I grew up. I mean I have but maybe not in a good way. Then there's Darien..._


	5. A New Begginning

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 5: A New Beginning**

Seiya looked up from his plate and to Serena who was walking through the front door. "Your foods by the stove." He said, his voice low, as he looked back down at his food and continued eating.

She slowly shut the door behind her. "Thanks." She said glancing at him then down at her feet. She grabbed her food from the stove and sat down at the table across from Seiya. She looked up at Seiya as she slowly chewed her food. He looked up at her as well but with a glare. He stabbed a piece of food hard with his fork as he looks back down.

She layed her fork down and sighed. "Seiya-"

"You know what," He said loudly as he stood up from the table and threw his plate into the sink, making it shatter to pieces. "I think it's time for me to go!" She flinched in shock as she heard the plate shatter. She pushed her chair back as she stood up. "Where are you going?" She yelled after him.

"Anywhere but here!" He yelled jogging down the porch steps, and walking fast down the street. She ran to the doorway and watched Seiya walk away. He slowed down his pace and looked over his shoulder at Serena standing in the doorway. "I'll be home later." He said quietly, but loud enough for her to hear then he continued to walk away. She wiped her tears away quickly as she let out a shaky breath and headed back inside. She ran her hand through her hair as she looked at all of the shattered glass in the sink, on the counter, and on the floor. "Get to work Serena." She said to herself as she sighed.

A few hours later, the door bell rang and Serena looked up at the door as she was kneeling on the floor picking up the last pieces of glass. "What now?" She whispered to herself as she pushed herself up and opened the door. "Hello-" She looked at the person in disbelief.

"Hey." Darien said with a smile on his face. "I knew you would be surprised to see me."

"Yeah surprised would be a good word." She said as she crossed her arms over chest. "What do you want?"

"Oh you know your happy to see me." He said laughing slightly at her anger towards him. "And can't I just stop by and say hello?"

"No." She said plain and simple as she glared at him.

"So when are you going to show me your diary?" He asked taking a step towards her. "I'm very interested in your every thought."

"God! Just go away!" She said as her face turned to digust and she started to close the door.

"Serena!" He said laughing as he stopped the door from closing with his foot. "I'm kidding." He then opened the door back up.

"Well I'm not." She said closing the door again but he stopped her from doing so again.

"Please, just let me in."

She looked at him, noticing the look on his face she knew so well. Seiya used it on her all the time when he wanted to help her, to make her feel better about herself. But she wasn't ready to let Darien in. Not yet. She looked down at her feet, avoiding his stare. "I'm sorry, Darien." She said as her voice cracked. "I don't think right now is a good time."

"Not a good time." He repeated as he looked away from her.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Darien." She said feeling her voice shake as she said this. Then she closed the door as she looked away from him with tears forming in her eyes. She looked at the closed door and started crying, wanting so badly to let someone in her life. She turned and walked away to her room.

As she started making her way up to her room two soft knocks came from the door. She looked down at the door from the stairs. She slowly made her way to the door and opened it. When she opened the door, Darien immediately closed the gap between them hugging her tightly, letting her cry against her chest.

She hid her face in his chest and she let out all of the tears she had been holding. "D-Darien." She said her voice cracking as she she looked up at him.

"Shhh." He said holding her closer and he stroked her hair.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Today was different. Me and Seiya are having a hard time getting along. I miss him talking to me. He has turned into all of the other kids at school, everyone else I know. It bothers me and I cry more often now. But one thing changed, I let Darien into my life. I didn't want to, but he took control and pushed me out of my shell. For some reason, I'm okay with that. I can finally talk to someone._

She let out a sigh and closed her diary, sticking it underneath her pillow. Then she looked up at Darien who was sitting in the corner of her room listening to her iPod. He looked up at her and smiled warmly. She smiled back then looked out the window and whispered to herself, "This is a new beginning for you Serena."


	6. The Truth Is Out

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 6: The Truth Is Out**

Seiya looked up when he heard Serena walk into the kitchen. "Breakfast is on the counter." He turned around started walking to the front door.

"Seiya wait!" She called after him. He turned around. "What?"

She looked down. "I'm sorry, I really am. It's just...just been really hard, and your my brother, and I love you. I know half of the time I act like I could care less about but that's not true. I'm sorry." Tears start to fill her eyes as she said this.

"Ser...I love you too. I understand what your going through, but you can't beat yourself up over it, or anybody else. Just let it go."

"I try to but it's so hard. I killed my best friend! I killed my friendship with Raye. Your the only person who still talks to me after what happened." Tears are now running down her cheeks.

Seiya walked over to her and pulled her into a big hug. "I'll always be here for you and you know that."

* * *

Serena was standing at her locker happy that Seiya was back in her life. Darien slides up next to her. "You know, I was thinking. I've been to your house, but you haven't been to mine." He smiled.

"Yeah, and your point is?"

"My point is, your going to my house...after school."

"Why don't-"

"What? You scared?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Great! I'll meet you here after school." He smiled and walked off to class. She sighed and slammed her locker shut and headed to her class.

* * *

Serena followed Darien to his room. "So this is your room?" She stopped in the doorway and looked around.

"Yep." He said as he walked over to his computer, and pulled the chair out and sat down.

"Nice." She said as she threw her bag onto his bed and sat down next to it pulling out her diary. He watched her as she flipped to an empty page and wrote..

_Dear Diary,_

_Well I worked things out with Seiya. I'm so happy. I can't stand it when we fight. As of right now I'm sitting her, on Darien's bed. I was scared to come here at first because of his brother Andrew, he knows everything that happened. I mean he has to, the look he gave me the other day. I'm just afraid to know what Darien is going to do whe..._

"Your whole life is in that thing, isn't it?" He asked interrupted her writting.

She looked up from her diary. "You have no idea."

"Why don't you tell me about your life. I mean we don't know much about each other."

She closed her diary and laid it next to her. "No, I don't want to talk about it. What about you? What's your life been like?"

"Oh come on, how bad can it? There has to be something exciting about it." He said ignoring her questions.

"Darien!" She yelled starting to get annoyed. "I said I don't want to talk about it!"

He was shocked at the anger she suddenly had towards him. "How can we be friends if we don't know anything about each other?"

She stood up grabbing her bag. "I didn't pick to be your friend! You're the one who talked to me first!" She walked out of his running down the stairs.

"Serena! Wait!" He yelled chasing after her. Andrew heard Darien call after Serena.

Serena was crying as she heard Darien running after her. Andrew saw Serena run by him crying. "And don't come back!" He said in a mean tone. She heard what Andrew said and ran out the door and down the street to her house.

"Why did you say that?" Darien asked mad hearing what Andrew said.

"What do you mean why did I say that? Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"About what happened with Serena." He paused. "She killed her best friend."

Darien was shocked at the news. "What? Serena would never do that!"

"She did. She was drunk and was driving the car on the way home from the party, and crashed the car. Raye, her other friend, was with her but lived, but Mina she didn't."


	7. He Knows

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 7: He Knows**

Two days later, Serena was lying in her bed, looking up at the ceiling. _How did everything go wrong so quickly?_

...

Seiya was downstairs in the living room when he heard the door bell ring. He sighed and got up slowly. Darien rung the door bell two more times, growing impatient. Seiya opened the door with more forces than needed. "This better be a cure for cancer." He said to the boy with anger in his voice.

"Is Serena home?" He asked looking around Seiya's shoulder, and into the house. "I keep trying to call her, but she won't pick up." He said standing on the tip of his toes, trying to get a better look inside. He sighed and stood regularly. He looked at Seiya's confused face. "She's home...I know she is, she just doesn't want to talk to me. It was my fault I shouldn't have tried to get her to tell me-"

Seiya put his hand up, stopping Darien from talking any further. "Who the hell are you?" He asked raising one eyebrow.

Darien looked away. "That's right, you really don't know me." He mumbled more to himself than to Seiya. He looked back at Seiya. "I'm Darien Shields. Serena's friend."

"Friend..." Seiya said in disbelief. He knew that Serena had no friends. She was always telling him how everyone hated her.

"Yes," Darien said knowing what he was thinking. "I'm her friend."

"You know-"

"Everything..." He said quietly.

Seiya set his lips in a straight line, and looks at Darien intently trying to break past his phony act. But he couldn't, because all he saw was himself in Darien. He saw the boy trying to help Serena, the boy ready with open arms when she's running towards him crying. All he saw was a boy who wanted to help Serena. To care for her. And that's more than he could ever ask for in a friend for Serena.

Darien looked down at his feet getting a feeling that Seiya won't let him in to see Serena. Seiya let out a small sigh. "Come wait inside while I go and get her. It's rude of me if you just sit out here." He left the door open so Darien could come inside as he starts heading off to get Serena.

"Wait!" Darien said grabbing Seiya's shoulder, stopping him from walking any further. "Don't tell her I'm here." He said nervously.

"Then how do you expect her to come down here?" He asked raising one eyebrow. "She doesn't get out of her room much as is, and I have no reason, other than you, for her to come down."

"Let me go to her room and talk to her." He said with a small smile as he thought of seeing Serena again.

"Alright." He said happy that he didn't have to come up with an excuse to get Serena to come downstairs. "Her room is up the stairs and-"

"To the left. I know." Darien said as he jogged up the stairs. Seiya's eyebrows come together in confusion as to why Darien knew his way around his house.

* * *

Serena heard a light knock on the door then another a few seconds after as if the person was hesitating. "Seiya?" She asked sitting up in her bed and looking towards the door.

Darien took a deep breath not knowing what to expect from Serena as he slowly opened the door. Her eyes widened when she saw Darien walk through her bedroom, and sit down next to her on her bed. "Yeah, it's me." He said with a slight laugh as he knew she was surprised it was really him.

She looked down at her hands, not knowing what to say to him. Not even knowing if she was mad at him, or sorry... Was she happy to see him, or terrified at what might come next?

He looked down at his hands as well. "Why didn't you answer my calls?" He asked looking up at Serena through his eyelashes. She shrugged while looking away from him. "I don't know." She said letting out a sigh. "I guess I just didn't want to be the one to tell you what happened."

"I've always known, Serena." He said in a serious tone, as he looked straight at Serena.

"What?" She asked looking at him fast. She looked at him for a few seconds then said, "No, no you couldn't have known-"

"When I first talked to you, I knew..." He said watching her face as it turned to shock. "I have always know. I wanted to wait and see if you could trust me enough to tell me yourself."

"So-so this whole time when you 'acted' surprised that people were mean to me, you already knew exactly why!" She yelled then she lowered her voice to a whisper as she said, "Do you even care about me?" She asked shaking her head in dissaproval. "Was this some kind of sick joke to you?" She asked keeping her voice in a whisper.

"No!" He said sternly. "I did this because I wanted to see if you could actually trust me, if you actually believe me when I said that I didn't care what you did, that I will always, no matter what, be your friend."

She looked at his serious eyes and broke down. She cried hard into his chest. She knew she should have told him in the beginning, even if he did already know. At least he would've known that she trusted him, believed in him. He doesn't say another word as he holds her in his arms and lets her cry.

* * *

"Yeah," He said answering her question. "Andrew told me the night you ran out of the house."

She looked at him worried, "And what did you say?"

"I told him to fuck off." He said serious.

Her eyes widened and a smile spread across her face. "Your kidding right." She asked laughing.

"No." He said laughing with her. "I'm not kidding. Even if I wouldn't have known already, he was stupid to even say those mean things about you."

She looked at him and smiled as her laugh faded. "Thank you."

"For what?" He asked smiling back.

"I don't know." She said shrugging. "Everything."

He laughed slightly. "I haven't done much. I'm just a good listener is all-"

"That's not the only thing." She said looking down at her hands for a second then she looked back up into Darien's eyes. "You have been here for me when I need you the most."

"And it'll stay that way."

"Good-" Dariens' phone started ringing, interrupting their conversation.


	8. Attempting Suicide

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 8: Attempting Suicide**

Serena hit her snooze button on her alarm clock. She rolled over knocking her pillows to the floor and she sat up throwing the covers off of her. She headed down the stairs, going to make her breakfast. She noticed that Seiya had already left for work. After she finished her breakfast she put her bowl in the sink and headed back upstairs to her room.

When she reached her room she walked inside. She grabbed her TV remote and turned on the TV. She sat down on her bed and kicked something. She bended down and moved the covers out of the way. She reached under her bed and pulled out a box that she remembered holded all of her favorite things.

She sat back on her bed and opened the box. She pulled out pictures pictures of her and her parents with Seiya, her and Raye when they were still friends and continued to pull out more stuff. Then she came across a pile of her and Mina and looked through them all remembering all the fun times they had together.

As she looked through the pictures the crash started to replay in her head. "NO! NO!" She yelled not wanting to remember anymore. She laid down on her bed and cried as hard as she can. It started to become more and more harder for her to breathe. She reached over to her nightstand and pulled out her knife that she kept in there and climbed down to the floor.

She cried harder as she brung the knife closer to her. She started to remember Darien and picked up her phone dialing his number, hoping he would answer and he did. "Hey Ser."

She let out a heavy breath still crying. "Go-od-bye Dari-en." She said choking out the words.

"Wait!" He yelled already knowing what's going on. "Serena don't!"

She knelt on the ground with the knife in her hand and whispered, "I'll see you soon Mina." She cried harder as she raised the knife. Darien bursted through the door yelling, "SERENA STOP! DON'T DO THIS!"

She looked up at him. "I'm sorry this is for the best." She said as she brought the knife closer to her chest. He ran over to her and grabbed her wrists, pinning her to the ground forcing the knife out of her hand. She struggled trying to get him off. "Darien!" She yelled still crying.

Darien was so angry that she would even think about killing herself. "NO SERENA! STOP NOW! I MEAN IT!" He said, yelling. She stopped struggling and looked at him wide-eyed, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"What do you think your doing? Do you have any idea how Seiya would feel if you kill youself? How I would feel?" He said still pinning her down. She just stared at him, not taking any of this into thought. He stared back at her and cupped her face and pressed his lips against hers. Her eyes widened but she still kissed him back.

Seiya walked in and Serena pulled away from Darien, and looked at Seiya then quickly looked away and Darien looked up at Seiya. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't-" He stopped talking and walked out closing the door behind him. She looked up at Darien with tears still running down her face. He looked at her staring into her eyes which were red and puffy.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" She asked and he nodded still staring into her eyes.


	9. Finally Together

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 9: Finally Together**

_I wasn't scared for the first time in a while...I wasn't sad, depressed, or having the feeling that I was the source of all problems. I was free of everything._

Her eyes fluttered open as she tried focus her vision through the darkness of her bedroom. Her dream put a small smile on her face as she wished that it would have been reality. She looked over at Darien, who is laying next to her, and watched him sleep, taking in slow, even breaths. She rolled over so her and Darien were facing each other.

"Thank you." She whispered as she grabbed his hand, slowly lifting it to her lips and kissing it softly before laying it back down next to her. He scooted next to her so their bodies were only inches apart. "Your welcome." He whispered as he was awake the whole time.

The smile that was on her face grew bigger as she tucked herself into his chest, feeling safer then she has ever felt before. He stroked her hair with his hand, this was the first time he saw her hair without her usual odangos, then wrapped his arms around her waist holding her close.

* * *

She sucked in a deep breath as her eyes shot open. She noticed light was shining in through her bedroom window as she strained her eyes. She whipped her forehead which was seeping with sweat, as she shot her head in the direction of where she remembered Darien laying. That side of the bed was empty.

She sat up fast and looked around the room nervously. She ran her hand through her hair as hot tears ran down her face. She slowly turned so she was sitting on the edge of the bed and then stood up, wrapping her arms around her stomach tryinng to keep the hurt from taking over.

She started walking towards her bedroom door, but stopped and turned around, wiping her tears away as she braced herself to go downstairs. She quietly walked out into the hallway, not caring to put her hair up in her usual odangos, and approached the top of the staircase.

She placed one hand on the railing and looked down at the dining room table where she can see Seiya sitting. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose then she heard Seiya laughing. She opened her eyes slowly and her eyebrows pull together in confusion as she looked down at Seiya. She walked down two of the steps, and leaned forward so she can see the person who was sitting on the other side of the table.

"..Yeah!" the other voice said as they laughed again. "That's what I thought too."

She gasped and a huge smile spread across her face as she realized it wasn't a dream. Darien looked up at Serena on the staircase. "Good morning sleeping beauty." He said smiling wide back at her.

"Hey." She said making her way down to the dinning room table where her brother and Darien were.


	10. Bad News

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 10: Bad News**

Serena walked into the school with Darien hand in hand. _I could feel everybody watching me...us. I'm sure they were all thinking, why was Darien, the new kid with her. I mean why would they not be thinking that? I'm Serena Tsukino the girl who killed her best friend. _

He let go of Serena's hand and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. Raye was standing at her locker with her friends, watching Serena and Darien as they made their way down the hall. She turned around and let out a heavy sigh.

_When Darien wrapped his arm around my waist, I felt safe. With him, I don't have to worry about anything. All the hurt just goes away..._

Serena and Darien walked into their class, Math. He took his seat in the very back, where he normally sat, Serena sitting next to him. She pulled out her notebook and copied the problems that were on the board and then she went on to solving them while Darien was still on the first problem. He sighed and threw his pencil down. "I hate math! I don't understand any of it!"

She looked up at him. "Sounds like you need some help." She said, cracking a small smile.

"Yeah, I do." He paused. "My house, later tonight?" He asked smiling.

"Uh, sure I guess." She said not really wanting to because she knew Andrew didn't like her.

* * *

_I made my way to Darien's front door nervous. I've been here before but as we all know that didn't go so well..._

She reached the front door and reached out and rang the doorbell, letting out a deep breath as she did so. Darien opened the door, letting her in. "You can go have a seat in the living room, if you want. I have to go up to my room and get my book."

"Okay." She said then she turned and walked into the living room as she heard Darien run up the stairs.

A brown haired girl that had her hair in a high ponytail turned her head as Serena walked in. "Hi!" She said in a friendly tone.

"Uh hi." She said confused as to who the girl was.

Andrew turned and looked at Serena. "Lita this is Serena. Serena this is Lita." He said in a _nice tone_. Serena was shocked by how nice Andrew was being. She just stared at him before she looked back at Lita. "Hi, nice to meet you."

A woman with short blonde hair up to her neck walked in the living room. "Lita, what time do I need to have you back at the airport tonight?" Serena turned her head and looked at him confused as to who she was too.

The woman looked at Serena. "Oh, sorry. Did I interrupt something?" She asked.

"Oh no, your fine. I was just waiting for Darien." She paused. "I'm one of Darien's friends, Serena Tsukino."

"Oh, I'm Amara, Darien's older sister. It's nice to meet you." She said, extending her hand so Serena could shake it. Serena extends her hand as well shaking Amara's hand. Darien came running down the stairs, with his book in his hand. "Okay, so you ready to tutor me in Math?" He asked Serena. "Let's go." She said as she turned and headed into the kitchen. Darien followed her into the kitchen and sat down next to her at the table.

"Who was that girl on the couch with Andrew?"

"Oh, that was his girlfriend, Lita."

"Really? I've never seen her around here before."

"That's because she doesn't live here. She pretty much lives across the country. She lives where we used to live, and she just comes and visits when she has the chance."

"Oh, that's nice. I didn't know you had an older sister."

"Yeah, but she's off at college most of the time. She's just home for the week."

"Oh." She said, not really knowing what else to say so she just looked up at him. Their eyes met and he leaned in and touched his lips to hers.

* * *

The next day, Serena sat on her bed remembering the night she had with Darien. She grabbed her diary out from under her bed and opened it to a new page and began to write...

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been a while since I wrote. A lot has been going on. Ever since Darien came into my life, it's changed...I don't-_

She was interrupted by her phone ringing. She reached over and grabbed her phone off her nightstand and answered it.

"Hey." He said and a smile spread across his face.

"Hey." She said smiling at the sound of his voice.

"Thanks for the help last night. I think I finally understand math for the first time in my life." He said letting out a small laugh.

She laughed. "Your welcome."

He smiled at the sound of her laugh. He stayed silent for a moment before he spoke again, "Hey...uh Serena, I uh-"

"Darien?" She paused. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"I really didn't want to tell you this way."

"Tell me what?" She asked nervous already. "Darien?"

"I'm-" He stopped not wanting to hurt her. "I'm moving...back to my hometown."

"...Why would you leave me? Especially now?" She asked as tears stung her eyes. "I still need you, Darien..."

"I'm sorry." He said knowing that he hurt her more than he wanted to. She stayed silent as she let the tears run down her face. He hung up the phone without another word, not wanting to hurt Serena more than he already has. He laid the phone down next to him and put his face in his hands as images of Serena filled his mind.


	11. Serena's Double, no, Triple Hurt

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 11: Serena's Double, no, Triple Hurt**

Serena's POV

It wasn't hard for me to just give up. I didn't have to fight with myself, to stay alive, anymore. Since he called me, those four nights ago, telling me he was leaving, with no goodbye, take care of yourself, or we will stay in touch, nothing was exactly the same.

No...that's a nice way of putting it. The reality is, it's more than 'nothing is exactly the same'. It's the fact that he came here and tried so hard to mend my broken heart, and break past the wall, that I was keeping up so strong, that let people actually help me. He wanted to be there for me, and to know that some really cares, was more than enough for me.

When he left, he left behind my heart, which he shattered more than it had been before. I see no reason for living. Seiya's too busy with work now these days, that he doesn't notice how much I'm hurting anymore.

I was curled up in my bed, nearly lifeless. My room is pitch black, even though my clock reads its noon. I don't feel hungry anymore. I really don't feel nothing anymore.

As I thought about this, my stomach started growling yelling at me to feed it. But I ignored my screaming stomach, and forced myself to sleep. There was a loud knock on my door, making me flinch from the ear piercing sound that filled my dark, quiet room.

I didn't answer the person on the other side of the door. Instead, I turned my limp body over and buried my head further into my pillow and pulled my covers further up my body until it touched by chin.

"Serena?" I heard Seiya say from the other side of the door. Man his voice seemed so loud! I moaned and pressed my hand to my forehead.

"Serena, you need to come out of your room. You haven't left it since Darien left."

Darien... The sound of his name made my stomach turn. I miss him so much. And Mina... Wow, I haven't thought about her in so long. Darien made me forget about her when he was around. It was nice. He always tried so hard to help me...and he did, every second. Even when he thought he didn't...he did.

* * *

Normal POV

Amara threw the strap of her bag over her shoulder. "You sure your going to be alright?"

"Yeah...yeah." Darien said looking up at Amara from his hands.

"If you need anything," She said as she opened the door. "Anything at all." Then she turned and looked at Darien. "I'm just a phone call away."

"Yeah, thank you Amara." He said smiling giving her a small sincere smile.

"Tell Serena I said hello. She seemed like a sweet girl."

"Um, maybe." He said looking back down at his hands.

"What do you mean 'Maybe'?" She asked as she adjusted the strap on her shoulder. "Isn't the reason you decided not to leave, was because of her?"

"Yeah she is..but I think it would be better if I stayed at a distance, and just...watch over her."

"Why would you want to stay at a distance, Darien? If you really like her, like you say you do, then that would be the stupidest thing you could do." She advised him.

"You don't understand." He said laughing once without humor. "Whenever I try to help her, she just pushes me away, or tries to hurt herself. All I'm doing is making things worse."

Amara paused for a brief moment as she studied Darien's face. "I'm not sure what your talking about...but if you claim to be making things worse, then why did you decide, last minute, to stay?"

He looked at her in deep thought with sadness in his eyes. "Because I love her and I need to keep her safe."


	12. Was It Him?

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 12: Was It Him?**

Darien's POV

I picked up the phone and dialed her number for the fiftieth time today. As soon as I heard the first ring I quickly hung up.

"Damn it Darien! What the hell is wrong with you? Just let the phone ring." I said frustrated with myself. I'm such a coward.

* * *

Serena's POV

I was awake but still covered and buried in my blankets, still lying in my bed, like I have been for the past week.

I still haven't heard anything from... Darien.

It's becoming harder to say his name. It's like he doesn't exist anymore.

Seiya...He finally got the hint that I don't want to be bothered anymore. But to be honest I miss him bothering me. Trying to get me to eat, to come out of my room, to make friends...to move on with my life.

My life isn't the same anymore, it's become more complicated. I can't handle it.

* * *

Darien's POV

I grabbed my coat and headed out into the freezing cold weather, making my way down the sidewalk to her house.

* * *

Serena's POV

I pulled the covers over my head when I heard the front door open and close. The sound. was. so. loud!

Darien, he was gone. I knew that I needed to move on.

* * *

Darien's POV

I was out of breath, standing infront of her house. I glanced up at the window. The one I knew that had her bedroom on the other side. I quickly looked away as I felt the hurt over take me.

* * *

Serena's POV

Knowing that I had to get up, I uncovered myself and jumped out of bed.

"You can do it Serena. It's going to be okay." I said to myself, letting out a heavy sigh.

I walked over to my windows, opening my curtains. For the first time in days. I looked out the window and noticed a man standing outside my house, his back to me.

I walked away, heading to my computer. I stopped dead in my tracks. I knew the back of _his _head when I saw it. I ran back over to my window only to find him gone...

What was I thinking? Darien was gone. I knew that. He told me. He was gone for good.

* * *

Darien's POV

I started walking back home. I couldn't do it. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I loved her a lot...more than anything, but I couldn't stand to hurt her more than I already had.


	13. He Never Left

**Understanding Hurt**

**Chapter 13: He Never Left**

Darien's POV

I stopped and turned around again. Giving myself one last chance to see her...

I walked swiftly back towards the front door. Only to stop right in front of it and freeze up again. It took all the strength I had left in me to bring my fist up towards the dark colored door, ready to knock.

But just then the door opened, letting a light gust of warm air hit my cheeks. And what I saw, that very second, made my heart sink. Break. Shatter.

It was easy to see what was happening... Serena had moved on.

The guy looked at me, he seemed a little shock that I was there or something. He nodded once at me giving me a smile I guess. "Excuse me." He said in his low deep voice as he slid past me.

So that was it.

After it being almost a year since I have left, she obviously moved on to someone else...

Why didn't I see this coming?

I looked down at my feet as I shoved my cold hands into my pants pockets, and slowly started turning away.

"Can I help you?"

I knew that voice, almost as well as Serena's, from anywhere. Seiya.

I turned around and looked at the face of an old friend.

I could tell by how his eyes widdened a little and his mouth slightly dropped open, that a years time had changed me a lot.

I looked different. Matured.

"...Darien?" He asked still looking at me in shock.

* * *

Serena's POV

Seiya called me down for dinner about an hour ago. But I didn't want to go downstairs while his friend, from work, was over.

I could hear Seiya's voice as I walked downsairs...but no one responding.

I was sure he was on the phone.

It took me a long time before I actually started coming back downstairs. Now everytime I come down-

This time a voice responded to Seiya's.

And I knew that voice too well.

Normal POV

She slowly started backing up the stairs, making sure no one can see her.

"You just...look at you!" Seiya said laughing as he pulled his old friend into a hug. "It feels like it's been centuries!"

Darien laughed with Seiya as he hugged him back. "What'd ya do to your hair?" He asked ruffling Seiya's now short hair.

"Hey!" He said laughing harder as he slapped Darien's hand away. "I'm not the only one sporting new looks!" He said pointing at Darien's clothes. "Looks like Darien's got a new style!"

Darien put his hands on his hip scooting his coat out of the way showing his white button up shirt with his tie. "I'm a business man now."

"Oh I'm sure you're in business where you live now." Seiya said sarcastically. "So what made you come back? Here for a visit?"

_I never left. _Darien thought. "..Yeah.." He lied as he set a small fake smile on his face.

"Well that's great! Let me just go get Serena, you don't know how much she has missed you since you've been gone-" He said starting to turn away.

_Shit. _Darien thought. "Seiya, no!" He said grabbing his shoulder as he spun him back around.

Serena creeped down a few more steps, trying to hear them better.

"What's wrong? I'm sure she realy wants to-"

"Seiya, stop it." Darien said in a low, deep, harsh, scolding tone. Then he sighed and looked away from Seiya's confused/hurt face. "Now probably isn't a good time..."

"Why not?" Serena asked in almost a whisper as she choked her words out through her dry throat, and walked down to the bottom of the stair case.

_She's so much taller _Darien thought _probably an inch or two. Her face is more structured, like a model. Her hair was still in those odangos...I guess somethings never change. The only thing that didn't fit, was the hurt in her eyes...the hurt I know I caused..._

"Well," She said looking away, breaking the chain they had going. "Come in. Your letting the cold air in." Then she walked over and jumped up, to sit on the counter.

He shut the door behind him, and walked over slowly to Serena. Instead of sitting beside her, he stood in front of her. _Here goes nothing. _

"Marry me..." He said looking straight into her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She said shaking her head, shocked. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me.." He said not taking his eyes off of her.

"You left me, Darien! Why would I marry you after that? And even if you stayed, were too young!"

"We're 18 now, and I never left you."

"But you_ did_." She shot back.

"But I _didn't_." He shot back at her. "I made you think that I left, because I thought it was what was best for you at the time. But now I realize how much pain I put you through.

"Oh _really_?" She asked sarcastically. "Darien..it was more than just a little pain you put me through. I was hurt, truly hurt..." She said looking at him, showing him all her sadness through her eyes. "So my answer to you Darien...is no..I will _not _marry you."

"Serena, who understands your hurt better than me?" He asked narrowing his eyes as he slapped the serious tone on her.

She looked at him for a few seconds, feeling her eyes water up. To keep him from seeing her fall for him all over again, she looked down at her hands pushing any thought of him out of her head.

"Exactly...no one." He said knowing he had her right where he wanted her.

Feeling a lump rise in her throat, she swallowed hard while keeping her eyes on her hands. He lifted her chin up and moved right up to her, until he was touching her knees, he then pulled her lightly off of the counter, leaned down and kissed her.

Feeling his flaming hot lips against hers made her stomach turn. She felt dizzy, but not the kind that made her want to stop. She roughly grabbed onto his jacket with both hands and pulled him as close to her as possible. He smiled through the kiss as she did this. Before pulling away he held her face between his hands, wanting this perfect kiss to last longer.

"I love you, Serena." He said out of breath after he pulled away.

"I love you too." She said with a smile. "But I will not marry you." When she saw sadness spread across his face she added. "Yet..." Then she laughed lightly as he smiled wide and kissed her again.

THE END


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